What about "the sketti incident" and other stories?

metatronmetatron Corning, NY, USA, Planet Earth
edited October 2018 in General

The fun part of life is when you have stories to tell. How about these work related stories then?

"The sketti incident" is about a guy named Glenn that every thursday night would disappear for over an hour during work and then return. We found out it was all you can eat spaghetti night at a local restaurant and that was where Glenn disappeared to each thursday. We nicknamed it "all you can eat and play with your feet" night as Glenn also rubbed foot cream on his feet every night including thursdays. Anyway, this one thursday night we were very busy and I was there when the boss explicitly told Glenn, "You need to get back here as soon as possible for the next pickup so no stopping at the restaurant for all you can eat sketti. Do you understand Glenn?" And Glenn said "Yes." So it was about twenty minutes before the pickup was due, and Glenn was not back yet from his trip on this busy thursday. The boss called Glenn up and asked, "Glenn, where are you?" Glenn answered back, "I am at the restaurant but I got the roast beef and not the sketti." This is from the same Glenn that would show up to work exactly 5 minutes before his start time (2 o'clock pm) and immediately go into the bathroom and take a poop until at least 2:25 pm. This one day, it was about 4 minutes after 2 pm and Glenn was not at the airport for work. I jokingly said, "Glenn's late, he probably pooped his pants." Believe it or not, just after I said that, Glenn called up the boss to say that he was going to be late. Glenn told the boss that he was stuck at a traffic light on his way into work and actually did poop his pants and had to go home and change. I think we held Jim over to cover for the extra hour or so. We were all so busy laughing about it that the time went by really fast anyway. This is also the same Glenn that has to take a bus or van ride or have someone else drive him to Buffalo, which is about two and a half to three hours away, because Glenn can not drive that far.

And then there is Terry that one day says, "I shave my head so that people don't notice that I have a bald spot." OK. Um. And leave it to me, Ace, to be an instigator. A few times Terry has said, "It is not in my job description so I don't have to do it." And I have said at least a few times back to Terry, "If we could find something you could do, we could add something to your job description." Sometimes stuff goes flying through the air, but all in good fun.

And then there was the time when Michelle was in the office and Jim and Glenn were there as well. There was a pickup coming up and I was not back from delivering luggage yet. There were two pickups actually. There was luggage to Wellsboro PA, Mansfield PA, and Troy PA. I had the standard (stick) shift pickup truck and the linkage came apart after the Mansfield stop, so I pulled over and crawled underneath the truck and reconnected the linkage. Just after reconnecting the linkage, Michelle calls me up and asks, "Where are you? We have the two pickups at three and need you back here." This was at 2:30 pm and there was no way for me to get from Mansfield to the airport by 3 pm and I still had the Troy bag to deliver yet. I told Michelle about fixing the truck and that I would try to hurry back as soon as I could but I would be a little late. I could also hear Jim and Glenn laughing a little in the background. Michelle then said, "Wait a minute, I just figured something out and finish the Troy bag and don't hurry back. Problem solved." Yes, two pickups and Jim and Glenn laughing in the background because they thought they were going to sit around, as usual, while I did the work. Well, the laughing did them in, because Jim and Glenn both did the pickups after Michelle hung up the phone after talking to me. Yes, there have been a few drivers that feel that asking, "Where is [so and so]?" is their job description while they try and just sit around the office as much as possible.

And then there was Kelly who looked at one of my luggage delivery orders and wondered how I had gone 661 miles to Chicago, IL in 5 minutes, and then to Wellsboro PA about an hour after Chicago, IL. The company website for claiming payment for the luggage delivery kept rejecting the claim saying, "Distance too far." So Kelly asked me, "Ace, how did you get to Chicago in 5 minutes?" Jim and Michelle are both sitting there trying to keep straight faces, but almost falling out of their chairs from wanting to laugh so hard. Anyway, I explained to Kelly that there is an hour time zone difference and that the time zone difference was why I had been able to get there so fast. So Kelly tried to file the claim again, and of course, rejected again. Kelly was so frustrated, but then I just said to Kelly, "they are staying at the [local hotel] and the baggage delivery people printed out the guy's home address instead of the hotel address." Jim and Michelle were laughing so hard that they both almost literally fell out of their chairs.

And of course, Lee, who sat around for about 7 hours rehearsing a speech to the boss to try and get out early enough to catch the local hockey game. Wait, he never mentioned the hockey game to the boss in his speech. Anyway, Lee was known to try and watch the local hockey game. We knew because we had the hockey game schedule literally posted on the key cabinet that was on the wall behind the chair by the boss's desk. Anyway, when the boss came in, Lee sat down for at least a good half hour explaining to the boss that Lee had to get out on time because Lee's daughter needed Lee to watch her and all this other stuff. All during Lee's presentation, the boss is pointing at the hockey schedule behind Lee and saying, "Lee, isn't there a home game tonight?", "Lee, there is nothing really going on tonight, why don't you go to the hockey game?" And Lee kept going on and on about how he did not have time to go to the game and that Lee needed to be out of work on time to watch his daughter that night and such. And the boss kept interrupting Lee about the hockey game and such. But anyway, the boss was transporting a group of people back and forth to the local theater, which was by the hockey arena, for a play that night. Of course Lee is there at the hockey arena with Lee's girlfriend there also and Lee's daughter nowhere in sight. The boss just had to say "Hi Lee" for some strange reason out the bus window as the boss drove by Lee and Lee's girlfriend outside the hockey arena that night.

Life is what you make of it, but if you can make a few jokes along the way, life goes quicker than you realize.

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